LEAVING A LEGACY of LOVE
I could begin with all my experiences in leadership roles, the challenges I faced, and the obstacles that sometimes prevented me from having the courage to take that next step. I could also begin with the day I dropped out of college and the moment I made the best decision in my youthful life: to enlist in the United States Marine Corps, and how that decision affected my future. Perhaps beginning this narrative by explaining why my resume looks like a paradoxical career road-map that winds and winds in no particular goal-achieving fashion is the way to go. But instead I prefer to present a story, one that truly reflects my leadership style and servant’s heart, one that emphasizes the crux of leadership from my own perspective, and one that I hope will be part of my legacy when my life comes to an end. The other stuff just doesn't matter.
I remember having a conversation with a respected board member who was struck by the closing of my communication to my staff. She worked as a teacher in a neighboring school and was conversing with her colleague when the topic of email communication surfaced, so she thought she would share how I closed my email messages to my district staff and students.
“Our superintendent signs off on her emails: Love Lori.”
My board member said they discussed this topic for a while, but the burning question was “Why is that?”
The next day she called me and repeated the conversation she had with a colleague. She admitted the discussion led to that one burning question: “Why is that?” So she finally cut to the chase and asked… “Why is that, Lori? Why do you sign all your email communication with the valediction, Love, Lori?”
What a great opportunity I had been given. I get to explain why people are so important to me. And this was made possible due to one small gesture - the act of simply signing off with the word, Love, an act that had impacted her to the extent that she talked about it with her colleague and wanted to discuss it with me.
It was then I shared THE WHY…
Well, I was engaged in a research study and was required to conceptualize the word LOVE. I explained that love is used in so many different ways and in various contexts. For instance, some LOVE cheese while others LOVE chocolate. Parents LOVE their children and others, their sports, shoes, or hobbies. Finding a definition for LOVE in order to measure its value was my goal. I interviewed various individuals, hoping to identify a description that would help guide my study. I knew I might have to pull from multiple individuals’ perceptions of LOVE in an effort to find the best definition to use. That was until I began chatting with a six year old little boy, a student in the district. We were simply chatting when I thought, “Hmmm, I wonder how this lil’ guy might define love?”
Gosh, there’s something about kids. Their ability to describe details, circumstances, and life’s challenges in such honest, simple terms moves me, reminding me of why I pursued education as a career in the first place. In an effort not to confuse this little one, I kept it simple:
“So, can you tell me what love means to you?” I asked with a curious gentleness.
Without a beat or breath, this little guy immediately chimes in…”Well my grandpa was really sick and I thought I wasn't going to see him again. I love my grandpa so this made me sad."
So I summarized for him, "So when someone leaves us and you never see them again and then you’re really sad. That’s when you know you loved them?"
He responded, "Yeah."
Whoa! Hold on! What an incredible response! I was speechless! The words from this little, inexperienced child reverberated in my mind, warming my heart. I couldn’t think of a better way to describe love. I often reflected on this conversation, aware that perhaps we love more than we realize - or take for granted the relationships we have developed with others, never really communicating our true feelings. I wanted to share what I learned from this innocent child. My desire was to model for others the importance of telling them how I feel – just in case it’s the last time I can.
Ensuring others know of their worth is also important, for life’s journey is short and opportunities to share aren’t promised. As a young mother, I was hit square in the face with this reality when my three and a half year old son died after enduring not one or two or three open-hear surgeries, but four. I came to know this as a sister of my music partner and guitar-playing brother who developed leukemia in March and died in September at the young age of 26. I came to know this as the girlfriend of an intelligent and talented 38-year-old man who took his own life after experiencing despair of which I was completely unaware.
I do not communicate these experiences to make others sad or feel sorry for me. It’s just this: at a young age, I came to know just how quickly one’s life can be altered. My experiences changed me. With each new leadership opportunity, an increased desire to help others emerged. The importance of modeling a powerful and positive disposition, every day in every way, paved a path I knew I must walk, inspiring me to be the light in other’s darkness. Building relationships was no longer a task at which I would work hard, as connecting with people just happened. God had begun moving in me during every turn of my life. Through my leadership experiences, my focus transitioned from career advancement to being the mightiest, most positive force in the lives of those with whom I connected.
No truer words were spoken than those of that lil’ first grade student who simply revealed that loss brings about great sadness. I believe that God placed me exactly where I needed to be at a time when my life experiences and leadership style would be used in the most powerful of ways.
Experiencing the loss of a child, brother, and significant other helped me to LEAD better. During my four years in a school district leadership role, my work family mourned the loss of four students, seven staff, and a beloved board president. Leading with a servant’s heart and embracing all students, staff and community as family made tragedy no less tragic but a bit less catastrophic. By coming together, as family, we provided comfort and love to one another. Leadership Lesson: One’s family is always in need of significant support during hard times and LOVING them with one’s whole heart helps GREATLY to soften any blow.
My experiences in leadership, particularly those from the superintendency, led to the creation of three personal and professional goals I strive to meet each day:
I continue to work each day in an effort to achieve these goals.
Now back to my story… As a leader who loves people, little ones and big ones alike, I believe it’s essential to let them know how I feel about them, so that's exactly what I do. In addition, I sign my communication to those for and with whom I work and serve in a manner that communicates the message: “If something happened to you and I would never get to see you again, I would be very sad. Very sad, indeed.”
So, YEP, I sure do – I sign off on all my communication in a way that reflects my heart...💛
I remember having a conversation with a respected board member who was struck by the closing of my communication to my staff. She worked as a teacher in a neighboring school and was conversing with her colleague when the topic of email communication surfaced, so she thought she would share how I closed my email messages to my district staff and students.
“Our superintendent signs off on her emails: Love Lori.”
My board member said they discussed this topic for a while, but the burning question was “Why is that?”
The next day she called me and repeated the conversation she had with a colleague. She admitted the discussion led to that one burning question: “Why is that?” So she finally cut to the chase and asked… “Why is that, Lori? Why do you sign all your email communication with the valediction, Love, Lori?”
What a great opportunity I had been given. I get to explain why people are so important to me. And this was made possible due to one small gesture - the act of simply signing off with the word, Love, an act that had impacted her to the extent that she talked about it with her colleague and wanted to discuss it with me.
It was then I shared THE WHY…
Well, I was engaged in a research study and was required to conceptualize the word LOVE. I explained that love is used in so many different ways and in various contexts. For instance, some LOVE cheese while others LOVE chocolate. Parents LOVE their children and others, their sports, shoes, or hobbies. Finding a definition for LOVE in order to measure its value was my goal. I interviewed various individuals, hoping to identify a description that would help guide my study. I knew I might have to pull from multiple individuals’ perceptions of LOVE in an effort to find the best definition to use. That was until I began chatting with a six year old little boy, a student in the district. We were simply chatting when I thought, “Hmmm, I wonder how this lil’ guy might define love?”
Gosh, there’s something about kids. Their ability to describe details, circumstances, and life’s challenges in such honest, simple terms moves me, reminding me of why I pursued education as a career in the first place. In an effort not to confuse this little one, I kept it simple:
“So, can you tell me what love means to you?” I asked with a curious gentleness.
Without a beat or breath, this little guy immediately chimes in…”Well my grandpa was really sick and I thought I wasn't going to see him again. I love my grandpa so this made me sad."
So I summarized for him, "So when someone leaves us and you never see them again and then you’re really sad. That’s when you know you loved them?"
He responded, "Yeah."
Whoa! Hold on! What an incredible response! I was speechless! The words from this little, inexperienced child reverberated in my mind, warming my heart. I couldn’t think of a better way to describe love. I often reflected on this conversation, aware that perhaps we love more than we realize - or take for granted the relationships we have developed with others, never really communicating our true feelings. I wanted to share what I learned from this innocent child. My desire was to model for others the importance of telling them how I feel – just in case it’s the last time I can.
Ensuring others know of their worth is also important, for life’s journey is short and opportunities to share aren’t promised. As a young mother, I was hit square in the face with this reality when my three and a half year old son died after enduring not one or two or three open-hear surgeries, but four. I came to know this as a sister of my music partner and guitar-playing brother who developed leukemia in March and died in September at the young age of 26. I came to know this as the girlfriend of an intelligent and talented 38-year-old man who took his own life after experiencing despair of which I was completely unaware.
I do not communicate these experiences to make others sad or feel sorry for me. It’s just this: at a young age, I came to know just how quickly one’s life can be altered. My experiences changed me. With each new leadership opportunity, an increased desire to help others emerged. The importance of modeling a powerful and positive disposition, every day in every way, paved a path I knew I must walk, inspiring me to be the light in other’s darkness. Building relationships was no longer a task at which I would work hard, as connecting with people just happened. God had begun moving in me during every turn of my life. Through my leadership experiences, my focus transitioned from career advancement to being the mightiest, most positive force in the lives of those with whom I connected.
No truer words were spoken than those of that lil’ first grade student who simply revealed that loss brings about great sadness. I believe that God placed me exactly where I needed to be at a time when my life experiences and leadership style would be used in the most powerful of ways.
Experiencing the loss of a child, brother, and significant other helped me to LEAD better. During my four years in a school district leadership role, my work family mourned the loss of four students, seven staff, and a beloved board president. Leading with a servant’s heart and embracing all students, staff and community as family made tragedy no less tragic but a bit less catastrophic. By coming together, as family, we provided comfort and love to one another. Leadership Lesson: One’s family is always in need of significant support during hard times and LOVING them with one’s whole heart helps GREATLY to soften any blow.
My experiences in leadership, particularly those from the superintendency, led to the creation of three personal and professional goals I strive to meet each day:
- Be all I can be for those I serve by assisting them in achieving their own personal and professional goals.
- ALWAYS – every single day I’m alive for the rest of my life – be loving, positive, honest, loyal, compassionate, forgiving, understanding, empathetic, brave, nurturing, diplomatic, hard-working, enthusiastic, involved, committed, real, and FUNNY, too – because that’s what others deserve from me! They deserve– every day in every way – for me to be a TIGGER (Pausch, R. (2010). The Last Lecture)!
- Finally, create a positive legacy by being an upstanding, productive citizen who models exemplary character, promoting kindness and illustrating the importance of showing others a loving heart.
I continue to work each day in an effort to achieve these goals.
Now back to my story… As a leader who loves people, little ones and big ones alike, I believe it’s essential to let them know how I feel about them, so that's exactly what I do. In addition, I sign my communication to those for and with whom I work and serve in a manner that communicates the message: “If something happened to you and I would never get to see you again, I would be very sad. Very sad, indeed.”
So, YEP, I sure do – I sign off on all my communication in a way that reflects my heart...💛
